Mediation and Family Consultancy

Guidance, balance, clarity

Separation or divorce can leave you feeling like your world has turned upside down with no clear path to your future.

How do you navigate the delicate and tricky journey of re-configuring family relationships and adjusting to the idea of co-parenting, often when feeling fearful, vulnerable, and hurt? Or maybe you embarked on this journey some time ago and you’ve hit a bump in the road or lost your way.

The clients I work with are looking for guidance, not just process.

My approach is relational, I specialise in helping separated parents reach the best outcomes for their children. With many years experience as a mediator, family consultant and psychotherapist I understand that what can get in the way of parents coming to a good arrangement after separating, often despite the best of intentions, is a sense of uncertainty, hurt and fear. I provide a safe environment where you can both be heard and understood, where you will have help, learning and guidance to navigate your way through the complexities of the new reality for you and your children, and where you can work out the details of your separation in a way that is respectful to each other and will be of benefit to your children forever.

Whilst separation or divorce might signify an end, it is also the start.

When you part as a couple, it begins a series of events that, as parents, require thoughtful and considered decisions about your children’s future. My approach puts children’s interests at the heart of discussions and helps parents work together to agree their plans for co-parenting. It is a way of giving you a chance to have a better sense of control over your lives, you both take responsibility for the discussions, compromises, and decisions, instead of living with constant stress, or even having decisions imposed on your family by a court. Good lawyers recognise this, which is why many refer their clients to me for parenting agreements.

  • "Our decree absolute came through at the beginning of January and I thought I would drop you a line. S.... and I – and most importantly our three girls – are in a very happy place. I put a huge amount of this down to the mediation process with you – strong foundations! Many thanks again for your professionalism and support."

    MEDIATION CLIENT

  • “Lesley has real psychological skills and an emotional understanding of parents and children that sets her apart as a mediator”

    FAMILY LAW PROFESSIONAL

  • "The mediation process was very beneficial at a difficult time. I felt we were in a ‘safety net’ which helped remove much of the angst and drama. Your interventions were hugely insightful and really helped remove the ‘heat’ from certain topics. I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend you and have already done so! A huge thank you for the last few months guidance and support, it was a real benefit to us both."

    MEDIATION CLIENT

  • “Simply put, Lesley gets great results on childcare agreements!”

    FAMILY LAW PROFESSIONAL

  • "Lesley – to echo L’s words, thanks so much for your patience and attention to detail in helping us through this. At times obviously a tough process but one I think that has been made immeasurably easier by your support."

    MEDIATION CLIENT

How it works?

what you can expect

In the first instance, I always meet with both clients on an individual basis before progressing to joint meetings. Once you’ve both had your initial assessments and we agree to work together, we will book in the first joint appointment. Sessions generally last an hour and a half.; the number of sessions will depend on what you need to talk about, the complexity of the issues and how far apart you are; some people find that a couple of sessions is enough but between five to ten sessions is not unusual. The processes are flexible and can work to a timetable that suits you. 

Mediation and family consultancy are voluntary, impartial, and confidential processes. I won’t make judgments or decisions for you, but I can guide and support you to help you negotiate your own way through the emotional and practical issues before, during and after separation or divorce.

Giving the children a say

Children at the centre, not in the middle

If your children are old enough, I can talk to them to gain an understanding of their experience and give you both feedback. Research with children following separation and divorce shows that most children are not consulted by their parents about what happens to them. The research also shows that children who are given the opportunity to talk and given a role in decisions about arrangements for them are more likely to feel positive about their situation and cope better.

Child Inclusive Mediation is only undertaken with the consent of both parents and the agreement of the child. It allows children to have a voice in the decisions that affect them but it is not about getting them to make those decisions.

In outline, the process itself involves:

Parent preparation

Meeting with the child or children

Verbal feedback to the parents in a separate session, often both individually and together

Follow-up session with parents

Child inclusive mediators have special training, I am a fully trained Child Inclusive Mediator, practising for over 10 years, and my psychotherapeutic background makes me uniquely qualified among the Child Inclusive trained mediators in the area.

FAQs

  • Family mediation: as an accredited family mediator, I am recognised by the MoJ and the courts; I can sign court forms and be registered for the government voucher scheme – only accredited mediators have this recognition. Family mediation is a process familiar to family lawyers, at the conclusion of mediation the mediator can produce documents that a family lawyer can turn into a legally binding document if needed.

    Family consultancy: Family consultants are highly experienced counsellors, coaches or mediators with additional training and recognition from Resolution, the family law organisation. It is similar to, but less formal and more flexible than mediation. Family Consultants often also work as a part of an interdisciplinary team with lawyers and other professionals to achieve the best solutions for clients.

  • I have been a family mediator since 2012 and am fully accredited with the Family Mediation Council. Whilst many people have trained as family mediators comparatively few have gone through the rigorous process of becoming accredited. Only accredited mediators are allowed to sign court forms or to register with the Ministry of Justice mediation voucher scheme.

    I am also trained and registered as a Child Inclusive Mediator with the Family Mediation Council, qualifying in CIM in 2013.

    I am a registered Family Consultant with Resolution, (the family law membership organisation), having completed their training in 2015.

  • A MIAM stands for Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. It is designed to be an opportunity for a specially qualified accredited family mediator to talk to you about mediation and the other options available to you and assess whether mediation is appropriate in your circumstances. Essentially, a MIAM is either the first step towards mediation or the last chance to consider your options before preparing to make a court application.

    Whilst family mediation is a voluntary process, there is increasingly an expectation by the courts that you and the partner you are separating from will have attempted mediation before applying to court. It is now a legal requirement that anyone wishing to bring a family matter before the court is expected to demonstrate that they have properly considered other ways of resolving the dispute by attending a MIAM before making a court application – unless an exemption, such as urgency and domestic violence, applies (a solicitor can advise you on this).

    If, following a MIAM, you decide that you would like to mediate then we will discuss next steps. If, following a MIAM, you decide that court proceedings are the best way forward then I can sign the page of the form required by the court to confirm you have attended a MIAM.

  • Mediation outcomes themselves are not legally binding. At the end of mediation, should you choose, documents that are provided by the mediator can be turned into legally binding documents by your solicitors.

  • Mediation and family consultancy are much cheaper alternatives to court proceedings. Clients pay one fee between them for mediation (apart from the initial assessment meeting), rather than two separate solicitors fees.
 

    Assessment and preparation meeting: these meetings are conducted on an individual basis; both participants attend an assessment and preparation meeting – £150 per person

    Joint meetings – £150 per hour per person (£300 per hour in total)

    For mediation only, I am participating in the Government’s Mediation Voucher Scheme, meaning you may get a non means tested contribution of up to £500 towards your mediation fees. 

    No VAT is payable on any of these fees.

    Mediation and family consultancy meetings usually last for 90 minutes.

    Fees include meeting preparation and administration including the preparation of brief bullet point summaries. However, you will be charged extra for any final outcome documents such as a Parenting Plan or Memorandum of Understanding.

    Cancellations with less than 48 hours notice incur 50% of the fee; cancellations with less than 24 hours notice or missed appointments incur 100% of the fee.

  • Generally speaking, each person pays their own costs, but you can agree otherwise. 

    For mediation only, I am participating in the Government’s Mediation Voucher Scheme, meaning you may get a non means tested contribution of up to £500 towards your mediation fees.

    Alchemy is a private practice and does not offer mediation funded by Legal Aid but there are other practices in the area that do. If you think you may qualify you can check at gov.uk/check-legal-aid.

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“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

— George Bernard Shaw